Want to be a Christian but don’t want to give up your love of psychics and psychic readings? Well now you don’t have to. Thanks to self-proclaimed psychic prophet Bishop E. Bernard Jordan, if you “donate” $50 you will receive a live-streaming “prophecy” in which the “company of prophets will call your name and prophesy to you into the camera while you watch.” Can’t afford $50? Then send your “$37 faith offering and receive your personal, tailer-made prophetic word from the prophet Jordan, in his own voice, on CD.”

Also, did you know that “the Bible is the greatest success manual ever written?” According to Bishop Jordan, applying the principles found in the Bible will transform you from a believer to an achiever.

And finally, what would any self-respecting psychic prophet be without his own line of prophet soap? That’s right! You can now order bars of soap that “will cause you to experience the prophetic in a way you would never expect.”

I enjoy the mild aroma of the Prophetic Awareness Soap , but I prefer the way the Prosperity Soap leaves my skin feeling soft and fresh.