Oriental Trading has captured the true essence of American Christian consumerism by combining the mushy-gushy gospel with the marketing of cheap products slapped with some cheesy “Christian” expression on it. Introducing the Jesus Loves You Snow Much Playing Cards.

The Jesus Loves You Snow Much Toss Game.

The Jesus Loves You Snow Much Soccer Ball.

God Rocks: Just another bottom-of-the-barrel, shameless marketing ploy to separate a fool and his money. Now with 100% NIV Scripture in every song. Wow, sign me up!

This isn’t the only money-making ploy using the same phrase “God rocks.” I found another one here.

Thanks to the compromise and insidious shallowness of cultural Christianity so prevalent today, modesty is out the window! Another proof of this is a new line of skin-tight jeans called “His Spirit Jeans” by Castle Rock Jeans and Apparel Company. So what makes these pants “Christian?” Well, somewhere there’s a Bible verse smacked on them (kinda like the socks and shoe inserts featured here).

This company claims “Castle Rock Jeans is about innocence, life, purity and love.” Well, as you’ll see below, it’s painfully obvious this company defines “innocence” and “purity” by the world’s standards, not God’s.

For your consideration here’s just two of the many pairs of jeans available (you can click on the pictures to enlarge):

I’m not sure if the spiked-heel, knee-high, leather stiletto boots come with these women’s jeans but I’m seeing “innocence” and “purity” written all over them.

And here’s a pair of the junior women’s jeans minus the stiletto boots but with little hearts on the butt.

And why just stop at just selling immodest and seductive jeans under the guise of Christianity? Why not advertise your hoodies using a model posing with a seductive look? And what seductive looking woman modeling “Christian” clothing would be complete without having the zipper almost halfway down?

Somewhere on this sweatshirt is a “Christian” message . . . good luck finding it.

Now here’s the best part:

This company actually has a page for testimonials about their jeans. I was understandably curious as to what kind of a “testimony” one could give about these jeans (or any jeans for that matter) so I clicked on the link and found the following “testimonies”:

“I love my jeans!!!! I now get to put on the ‘Amour of God’ and be witness. They are very comfortable and fit extremely well.”

Jenny K, Phoenix

Really Jenny from Phoenix, Arizona? You’re honestly equating these jeans to the “Armor of God?” Apparently Jenny has not only a zero understanding of what the Armor of God is, but her assumption that now she can be a “witness” makes me a little worried as to what she will be a witness of. Oh, biblical illiteracy is such a tragic plight to behold. Here’s some advice Jenny, crack open Ephesians and read about what the Armor of God actually is. Here’s a hint: It has nothing to do with skin-tight jeans designed to make the opposite sex stumble.

“I love my new scripture jeans. They are really comfortable, fit great and I’ve had very positive response from friends!”

Peggy in Surprise AZ

Peggy in Surprise, Arizona has had a “very positive response from friends.” I’m sure you did Peggy. And I bet most of them happened to be men.

Then there’s Helga’s testimonial:

“We got a lot of compliments, to the point that someone in the parking lot called ‘you are looking sexy’. Not to bad for a 71 year old woman.”

This is what a mature and virtuous woman of God should be doing? I guess in Laodicea nothing is sacred.

And then there’s Liz H. and her seeds of faith planting:

“I’m going to be telling everyone where I got these awesome jeans and hopefully planting some seeds of faith everytime I wear them! God Bless all of you!!!”

The parable of the sower explains that the seed is the Word of God, not your immodest, tight-fitting, attention-grabbing, brother-stumbling jeans, Liz.

There’s also a testimonial from Aisha K. described as an up and coming GMA artist.

“. . . my background singers thought the jeans were HOTT! “

This says a lot about Aisha K and contemporary Christian music as a whole, doesn’t it?

You know, it’s one thing to sell this trash and market it as “Christian” apparel, but when you call it “His Spirit” it makes me fear for the owners when you consider the words of our Savior in Matthew 12:31.

Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.

– Jesus Christ

For a news article on this company, click here.

HT: Bill Phillips

The Cynical View:

Now that your kids are almost done polishing off all that “Christian” Easter candy, make sure your kids practice proper oral hygiene by brushing with “Christian” toothbrushes because those pagan, worldly toothbrushes just can’t get to those hard to reach places. What makes these better than worldly toothbrushes? Because the manufacturers of these plastic sticks with bristles on the end smacked a Bible verse* on the toothbrush, that why.

The Optimistic View:

These toothbrushes are useful in removing plaque from the teeth caused by all those sugary candy-coated sermons that the majority of American Christians swallow week after week. How is this done? Because the manufacturers of these plastic sticks with bristles on the end were kind enough to put a Bible verse* on the toothbrush; and in many cases that means these toothbrushes contain more Scripture than many sermons preached on any given Sunday in America.

* Granted, only the reference is printed on the toothbrush (not the actual Scripture) so you still have to look it up on your own . . . that is, if you’re not too busy.

Nothing says Happy Resurrection Sunday quite like the following items:

Resurrection eggs.

Resurrection action figure set.

Jelly Bean prayers.

Candy cross bracelets.

Chocolate cross.

Chocolate Crucifix (for Catholics).

And finally, nothing celebrates the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ like . . .

A giant pink elephant.

Yup! It says “Jesus Loves Me” right on the kazoo so that settles it; it must be “Christian.” Who are you to say it’s not? “Judge not the kazoo lest you be judged!“

More “Christianized” junk to appease your children.

Desensitizing the sheep to the price paid for their salvation by trivializing the cross and removing its offense one lick at a time.

Teaching kids to treat the grace and sacrifice of God with utter contempt, one cheap trinket at a time.

When the church has to resort to a tropical penguin to interest children in God (and candy too) it’s no wonder that we’ve raised a generation of biblically illiterate and doctrinally ignorant entertainment-seekers whose concept of God is that He’s just a “cool” dude.

Just think of all the people that will want to ask you about your faith in Jesus when they see you eating one of these.

Proof that if you slap the word “Jesus” on anything, the gullible among us will buy it.

Introducing this new Bible for kids.

Don’t let the publishers limit who this Bible would appeal to. This would make a perfect gift for those who want their Bible cover to reflect their depth and personal understanding of sound biblical doctrine: “a little fuzzy.” It would also be perfect for those who view Jesus as a cuddly little teddy bear.

Now you too can have this “evangelism tool wrapped in fun” when you play Salvation Challenge. This game boasts that you can “celebrate–and share–your faith by responding to the salvation message.”

Is a comment even necessary?

This has got to be one of the dumbest ideas in all of “Christian” Commercialism. Scripture verses on shoe inserts. Dumb from a practical, common sense, and reverential perspective, but probably not so dumb from a marketing perspective. I am certain there are enough lemming Christians who will buy this garbage to make the company that sells them a success.

But why just stop there? Witness while you walk with these dumb socks embroidered with a word like love, hope, praise, blessed or joy. Proof that if you slap the label “Christian” on it, cultural Christians will buy anything.

Speaking of “buying anything,” check out this company’s ministry links here. The marketing of shoe inerts and socks comes as no surprise when the company links to such ministries as:

Creflo Dollar Ministries
T. D. Jakes Ministries
Joyce Meyer Ministries
Paula White Ministries
Joel Olsteen

I guess the company figures if these guys can fleece the flock, they might as well get in on it too. If the sheeple are blind enough to send money to the above charlatans, then these same folks will quickly part with their money to buy a “Christian” shoe insert and a sock.

Seriously folks, I can’t make this stuff up.