Humor

by

How many light bulbs?

I found this gem on Symphony of Scripture.

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, since his hands are in the air anyway.
A: Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!
A: Twenty one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

Q: How many hyper-Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If God wants the light bulb changed He will do it Himself!

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.

These were all good, but one was missing so I thought I’d add my own:

Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. They figure it will change itself in a billion years.

by

Relevance: What a wicked mistress.

Someone e-mailed me the pictures below and it got me thinking about how the world’s standard of what’s in and popular constantly changes. I then reflected on the modern church and its incessant efforts to be cool, hip, and relevant by stooping to the world’s standards to attract people.

As the modern church does everything possible to be cool, hip, and relevant, I thought I’d pose a question: What happens tomorrow when what was cool, hip, and relevant becomes uncool, unpopular, and out of style? What then?

See, God is always relevant. He never goes out of style and doesn’t need man to dream up new schemes to attract people to church.

When you use the world and its gimmicks to make God relevant, you will always have to come up with new gimmicks because what the world says is popular and relevant today will inevitably change tomorrow. When you let the world dictate how the Church should operate, the glory will depart.

To illustrate my point, check out the pictures below from a 1977 JCPenny catalog, and behold for yourself what a wicked mistress “Relevance” can be.

Enjoy your stroll down memory lane:

cid_000e01c82102c752e950413217acdaytonsub3.jpg cid_001701c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001601c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001401c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001101c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpg

cid_001201c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001f01c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001e01c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001a01c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpgcid_001801c82102c7553340413217acdaytonsub3.jpg

by

Become a Better Ewe!

better-ewe.png I simply couldn’t pass this up. Check out the complete post from the October 20th entry on Steve Camp’s blog Camp On This.

“If you do not seek God because you believe Him to be supremely valuable,
then you are a hypocrite. To seek God for any reason other
than His own glory as Creator, Lord and Savior is to be a hypocrite.
It is the reason that the health and wealth gospel
is not simply a deficient view of the gospel,
but actually “another gospel” and will lead people to hell.”
-Pastor John Swanson,
River Hills Community Church

by

Bumper sticker fun from the Pilgrim’s Project blog.

Mrs. Pilgrim over at the Pilgrim’s Project blog came up with a few good sayings for bumper stickers. She listed them on her post Bumper Sticker Fun.

  • 1.  “So…Life began with static cling and a chicken-soup smoothie?”
  • 2.  “How dare you judge me for judging others?”
  • 3.  “I’ll stop preaching at you when you get saved.”
  • 4.  “‘Good enough’ does not appear in the Bible.”
  • 5.  “You don’t need Jesus? Oh, you think you’re better than I?”
  • 6.  “Pubblik skool: 4 a gud edyucashun.”
  • 7.  “‘Tolerance’ is not a synonym for ‘love’.”
  • 8.  “Would you rather your mom loved you, or tolerated you?”

My favorites are numbers two, three and seven.

by

When praising God and aerobics collide.

You only need to watch a few seconds of this (a few minutes for those who are really daring) to understand that when Christians try to mimic the world by walking like the world, talking like the world, acting like the world; but with a “Christian” version, it leads to disastrous results like this. Furthermore, the praise and worship of God was never meant to be infused with aerobics.