Scene 1: You meet your child’s math teacher for a conference.

Teacher: Hey dude, what’s up? Whoooaaaa! Hey, is it just me or do you have the munchies too?
You: What on earth are you talking about? And why are you acting like you’re high or something?
Teacher: I am high, yo! I’m high on math! I’ve been tokin’ the algebra! It’s called “drunken math glory!” Wanna try it?
You: No, I don’t!!! In fact, that’s what I want to talk to you about! Is this why my son is acting so goofy when I try to get him to do his math homework? And why he says he doesn’t learn anything in class?
Teacher: You know it, yo! Who needs to learn about math from a book? When all you have to do is put it to your lips and toke it? Yeah!
You: How can you call yourself a teacher if you don’t teach him?
Teacher: Whoa, now, don’t get all Pharisaical on me! I don’t like to put a big, fancy label like “teacher” on myself. Haha, yeah! That would make it sound like I know more than these little guys–you don’t want me thinking that do ya? Nah! I’m just showing little junior here how to have a closer relationship with math! Yo!

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Scene 2: Your child is in the hospital. You are frantic, and you want to know how he’s doing.

You: Doctor, is my child OK?
Doctor: Hmm? What? Oh, I don’t know.
You: What do you mean you don’t know? Is he going to be OK?
Doctor: Well, I don’t really want to pass judgment on him. After all, who’s to say what’s “OK” and what’s not “OK”?
You: Doctor, I DEMAND you tell me the truth about my son!
Doctor: Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not start throwing around words like “truth” here, okay? I mean, who can tell what the truth really is?
You: Are you crazy? Didn’t you learn anything in medical school? How can you call yourself a doctor?
Doctor: Oh, medical school is so full of “black-and-white.” I’d rather just guess at what’s going on with your child. besides, I don’t like to call myself a “doctor.” It just sounds so arrogant–you know, it makes it sound like I know more than other people.

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Scene 3: You are on a jet airliner 35,000 feet above ground.

You: Excuse me, stewardess, why are we encountering so much turbulence?
Flight attendant: Are you judging?
You: Excuse me?
Flight attendant: Who are you to say what turbulence is?
You: Don’t you feel how the plane is shaking and jerking? It feels like the plane is going to break up!
Flight attendant: You know, I really resent your Pharisaical tone! Just because you may think the plane is shaking, doesn’t mean everybody else does! Besides, maybe they like the plane to be shaking and jerking. Did you ever think about that? No! You’re too busy putting turbulence in a box! Why do you want to ruin it for the other passengers? Besides, this plane won’t “break up.” It’s united by love!
You (Looking back, seeing the tail section fall off): Miss!! I think we’re in trouble!
Pilot (over loudspeaker): Hello, this is your Airplane Flyer-man speakin’! I don’t like to call myself “Pilot” or “Captain” because it makes it sound like I’m different than you. Anyway, I know things don’t look quite like they should, but that’s OK. We’ll just try and imagine how they would have done things in the early days of flight, and come up with something–after taking a consensus with you all. Anyway, in the unlikely event that we might have a harder-than-expcted landing–I’m not going to to so far as to say we WILL crash because, after all, that would be rather harsh and judgmental, and a word like “crash” might make you feel uncomfortable. Anyway, while we try to correct this slight glitch, sit back, relax, and watch this video about how to have better sex!

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How would we react in such a situation? We would be outraged, we would demand answers, we would expect the people in charge to know what they are talking about. Yet look at the church in America today. Filled with “life coaches” and “youth fun-games-and-pizza-party-planners pastors.” Staffed by men (and women–that’s a whole ‘nother subject) who don’t care enough about the truth to preach the truth. Some of the most popular “church” speakers are idiotic goofballs who won’t take the time to study the word of God, so they make up a bunch of crap about “tokin’ the ghost.”

Making people feel good about their sin, refusing to call the truth “the truth.” With their pews filled with people who need to hear–and, most frighteningly, may never have heard–the gospel, they would rather speak a bunch of idle words, and give people warm fuzzy feelings as they skip blissfully toward the gates of Hell. We wouldn’t put up with this in temporal, physical matters. Why should we put up with it when it comes to matters that concern our eternal soul?

Call me a Pharisee. Accuse me of “putting God in a box.” Go ahead. I will simply nod my head and say, “Thank you.”