Let me fall in love with You all over again
Let me know You as never before
As I was praying this morning, this song, sung by the late Kenny Hinson, became my prayer. There is nothing I desire more than to fall in love with Jesus all over again.
In the last few years, I’ve gone through a number of changes, some of which I struggled with a long time before surrendering to the direction God wanted me to take. I don’t like change, and I had to be absolutely sure He was leading. As I look back now, it is so obvious to me that He was indeed calling, and I am overwhelmed by His love for me and His willingness to use this weak, stubborn vessel.
In the last few years, God has also brought some wonderful people into my life–those who are willing to intercede for me, bear with me, and encourage me whenever God lays me on their heart. They say if you can count on one hand your true friends, you are very blessed. If I think about it, I can probably do that and more. At the same time, no one can replace my first Love.
I am not always faithful. I do not always embrace the tests He brings but have instead cried and begged Him to remove tests when I thought I could not stand it. In the end, though, like the apostle Paul, I found His grace to be sufficient and His strength to be made perfect through my weakness.
I was watching Joni Tada last night on the True Woman Conference’s webcast, and she talked about the importance of surrender to whatever will draw us closer to Jesus. That is a lesson I am still learning but, if I desire a closer walk, I must be willing to accept whatever He knows will rid me of myself so that I can have true communion with Him.
Being over 40 years old and single, God has been my husband and Father. He has been the friend who is there in the middle of the night when all I can do is cry. I have felt Him hold me and assure me He is there, even when I knew I had failed Him. True to His Word, He has never left me or forsaken me but He has blessed me much more than I will ever deserve, and He has surrounded me with people who love me.
I have had an ear infection for several months and, yesterday, I finally got in to get my ears cleaned out. I cried as the doctor worked to remove all the junk in there, but I knew the pain was necessary if I was going to be able to hear again and heal completely.
This experience brought home the reality that it is the same way with life. The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. The longer we live, the more sin accumulates until we meet Jesus and He begins to chip away the sins that ensnare us. Even after walking with him for over 20 years, there are still things in my life that need to go. Humanly, I don’t want to go through the pain I may need to go through so He can chisel them out of my heart, but I realize it is necessary in order to have more room for Him. He cannot dwell where sin is present and so surrender I must. If I do so, I will feel more of His love and peace, and I will in turn love Him more than ever before.
God, make that truly my desire, that I love You, not only on the mountain when the sun is shining bright, but also in the valleys when it’s dark and I can’t see You. Keep me looking straight ahead and not on what is going on around me for, with You holding my hand, nothing can touch me and, one day, You will lead me to my eternal Home where nothing will ever harm me again. Thank You, Father. Amen!