You’ve seen the St. Joseph home selling statue, you’ve seen the patron saint of television statue, now the ancient Roman Catholic art of submission through superstition has spawned yet another useless statue for you to put your trust in and make an idol of: The Saint Benedict home protection kit.

So, are we supposed to use it as a club? Thanks, but no thanks, I’ll continue to rely on my Glock for home protection.

Here’s the official description:

For those looking for protection from the forces of darkness and temptation, our Saint Benedict Home Protection Kit may be just what they seek. Homeowners of all denominations are invited to bring Saint Benedict, the Protector of Hearth and Home, into their lives, into their homes. In this exclusive Home Protection kit, you will find everything you need to protect your home, including step-by-step instructions for its use.

The Saint Benedict Home Protection Kit display includes 16 statues, each in individual full color gift boxes. Individual box contains one 5″ resin statue, a full color story card, two Saint Benedict Medals and a full-color tear-off Saint Benedict holy card with the Prayer to Saint Benedict, Protector of Hearth and Home on the back. — Display: 12 1/4″ W x 8 1/4″ H x 8 1/4″ D; Individual Box: 3″ W x 2″ H x 5 3/8″ D; Two 3/4″ Dia Pewter/Enamel Medals

HT: A Little Leaven