Working moms.

Working Moms The U.K.’s Daily Mail has posted an interesting article entitled So Should Working Mums Feel Guilty?

Although the mother interviewed wasn’t as penitent as I expected her to be, she did reveal the dirty little secret feminists won’t tell you: Mother’s who work away from home end up feeling like they missed out on the most important thing about motherhood . . . raising their children.

It may seem strange to some, but it is only recently that I have felt able to acknowledge that mixing work and children comes with its downsides. Why did it take me so long? Part of me doggedly believed I had to stick to my ‘line’ – that work gave me independence, adventure and, of course, money. But I have to admit that another part didn’t want to examine what the effect of more than 20 years of working motherhood had had on my children.

The mother goes on to say:

It’s obvious, perhaps, but what I give them now, which I rarely could before, is my attention.


But maybe my 20-plus years of working motherhood is not such a great thing to crow about after all. I wouldn’t deny any other woman the chance to step into my working-day stilettos, but I would whisper: ‘Are you sure that it’s the right thing to do for everyone – children and husband included – and not just you?’

But just when you thought this story would have a redemption-type ending, it’s evident that the cycle will continue with her daughter when her daughter says:

My mother’s parenting was, in some ways, unorthodox. She instilled in me an appreciation of my own independence from an unusually young age. I was never asked whether I had done my homework each night and that is the way I liked it. . . . In fostering a sense of autonomy, she also showed great respect for my privacy. I am never asked irritating questions about boyfriends, a plight suffered only too frequently by many of my friends. I knew girls at school whose mothers had only them on whom to focus, pressuring them to achieve the best grades, get into the most prestigious universities and even to acquire the most appropriate boyfriends.

The daughter continues:

I respect a woman’s choice to take on the role of mother full time. It is, of course, one that comes with many challenges and infinite rewards. However, while I expect to take more time off work than my mother was able to when my children are small, I plan to have a career, too. My mother has started to question her life choices, but I defend them wholeheartedly. A trip to Egypt last year and various spa visits over the past few years have been testament to the fact that our relationship is a good one.

You can read the whole article here.


See also:

Voddie Baucham’s sermon Biblical Womanhood.

The Berean Wife’s article Feminism Has Made Women Unhappy.

Other articles from the Daily Mail feature on DefCon under the posts The Attack on Men and Fathers and Not Dying For the Sins of Her Father.

6 thoughts on “Working moms.

  1. Reading the full article brought tears to my eyes because the mom still really hasn’t gotten it. But there is always hope.

    The oldest daughter is in denial of what she missed out on and how it affected her. There is hope though, because when she becomes a mom, just maybe, she will see the issue more clearly. See she doesn’t have a mom, she has an older girl friend to spend time with. A buddy does not take the place of a mother although it may be more fun.

    Berean Wife


  2. This is a sad commentary of our society (not just England) and even worse is that most of the children do grow up and think that is the normal way of doing things. Little do the moms realize that they are hurting their families by working. We have a society of children raised in day cares. It’s no wonder the children-turned-adults are turning to drugs and other things PLUS have little concern for their own children. You are right, Berean Wife, no one can take the place of the mother and she needs to take HER rightful place!


  3. Manfred, I have and love that movie!

    Oh my…if I have a passion beyond my calling as a Godly stay at home wife and mother (and homemaker) it would be about your post. I find that I need to be careful how I share my beliefs because I can sound judgmental. I have a heart for more women to be at home, raising their children, homeschooling and caring for their husbands and the home itself. Our society has gotten away from that so much…and oh, how the mothers (and children) are losing out. Not only that but I truly believe that mothers at work (other than single mothers who have no other choice to care for their children) are the reason our society has taken such a turn for the worse.

    I also firmly believe that if more (or all) mothers were at home there would not be such an unemployment issue in our country….oh, I could go on and on…but I won’t. πŸ™‚
    Thank you for the post Pilgrim! πŸ™‚


  4. I’m a young Christian wife and mom living in a very post modern biblically arid part of the United Kingdom. I need a godly mentor who herself is a Christ centred bible believing wife and mother. I’m put off by the lukewarmth of our church and community and my husband and I have had enough of it. Is there any mom here willing to correspond with me on the subject of being a stay at home mom as we are looking to live what we believe and waste no more time.


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