Fatherhood

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The attack on fathers.

PX001126 Stupid. Lazy. Uninvolved. Ignorant. Timid. Detached. Neurotic. Weak. Powerless. Unreliable. Ineffectual. Irresponsible.

What do all these words have in common? They are all descriptions of how men and fathers are depicted in today’s Western culture.

Television is a great example of the problem. Whether it’s Archie Bunker from All in the Family, Al Bundy from Married With Children, George Castanza from Seinfeld, Peter Griffin from Family Guy, or Homer Simpson from The Simpsons men are often portrayed as fools and inferior to not only their wives, but to their own children as well. And this isn’t even considering the latest onslaught of one-parent homes (homes absent of any father), and those normalizing homosexuality. These trends have been increasing every year and it seems to show no sign of stopping.

The problem is especially pervasive in shows geared toward children as Hollywood and the current culture is hell-bent on turning the hearts of the children away from their parents–especially their fathers.

If you still need convincing, turn on Nickelodeon or The Disney Channel and watch how men are depicted. It won’t take long for you to see what I mean. Even the commercials feed into this distortion of manhood. In so many cases all authority figures are depicted as incompetent including teachers and police officers, but none are so marginalized as fathers.

Mothers are depicted as much more capable of navigating through life than their incompetent spouses, but even they take a back seat when it comes to the kids themselves. Watch these same channels and observe how the kids are depicted. They’re the ones in control, who are running the show, making all of the important decisions, saving the world, and doing it all with zero or minimal input from their parents–especially that detached lump on the couch they call dad.

William Leith recently wrote an eye-opening piece in England’s Daily Mail in which he asked Why Do All My Son’s Books Tell Him All Men Are Useless? I highly encourage you to read the article; here are some excerpts:

“A recent academic study confirmed that men – particularly fathers – are under-represented in almost all children’s books. And when they do appear, like the fathers in Gorilla and Zoo, they are often withdrawn, or obsessed with themselves, or just utterly ineffectual.”

Leith continues:

“Why had this never bothered me? Because it’s all around us, everywhere we look. For years, men in our stories – not just for children, but adults, too – have been losing their authority. Not just years – decades. It’s crept up on us and now it’s everywhere. Remember when movie stars were strong and decisive? That was a long time ago now: John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Errol Flynn. Then came a new, softer type – Cary Grant and James Stewart were strong, yes, but against a background of self-doubt. And then came Jack Lemmon, Dustin Hoffman, Woody Allen, Bill Murray, Kevin Spacey – neurotic, bumbling, deeply flawed anti-heroes.”

Now I’ll readily admit that there are many, many men today who refuse to grow up (they’re known as Rejuveniles), but the situation begs the question: Is our culture’s entertainment merely reflecting the problem of the modern American male, or are these men actually the product of their culture’s entertainment?

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For an absolutely wonderful story in which the father is refreshingly portrayed positively, I cannot recommend enough the book A Basket of Flowers; it’s one of my favorites.

See also:

How to make your husband a false convert and cause your kids to reject the Christian faith

Working moms

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Quotes (716)

“[Children] must pay attention to what their parents have to say and do it. To hear and not do is to not hear at all. Clearly, this presupposes that fathers are teaching their children first. You can’t hear what is not being said. If children are to listen up, then dads must speak up.

Home is to be the university of life. Dad is the president and head professor, mom is on faculty and the head of her department, and, yes, she has tenure! The children form the student body, and the Word of God is the core curriculum. School is always in session, and obedience is what brings a passing grade.”

Dr. Steven J. Lawson
“The Legacy” (1998)

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Working moms.

Working Moms The U.K.’s Daily Mail has posted an interesting article entitled So Should Working Mums Feel Guilty?

Although the mother interviewed wasn’t as penitent as I expected her to be, she did reveal the dirty little secret feminists won’t tell you: Mother’s who work away from home end up feeling like they missed out on the most important thing about motherhood . . . raising their children.

It may seem strange to some, but it is only recently that I have felt able to acknowledge that mixing work and children comes with its downsides. Why did it take me so long? Part of me doggedly believed I had to stick to my ‘line’ – that work gave me independence, adventure and, of course, money. But I have to admit that another part didn’t want to examine what the effect of more than 20 years of working motherhood had had on my children.

The mother goes on to say:

It’s obvious, perhaps, but what I give them now, which I rarely could before, is my attention.

And:

But maybe my 20-plus years of working motherhood is not such a great thing to crow about after all. I wouldn’t deny any other woman the chance to step into my working-day stilettos, but I would whisper: ‘Are you sure that it’s the right thing to do for everyone – children and husband included – and not just you?’

But just when you thought this story would have a redemption-type ending, it’s evident that the cycle will continue with her daughter when her daughter says:

My mother’s parenting was, in some ways, unorthodox. She instilled in me an appreciation of my own independence from an unusually young age. I was never asked whether I had done my homework each night and that is the way I liked it. . . . In fostering a sense of autonomy, she also showed great respect for my privacy. I am never asked irritating questions about boyfriends, a plight suffered only too frequently by many of my friends. I knew girls at school whose mothers had only them on whom to focus, pressuring them to achieve the best grades, get into the most prestigious universities and even to acquire the most appropriate boyfriends.

The daughter continues:

I respect a woman’s choice to take on the role of mother full time. It is, of course, one that comes with many challenges and infinite rewards. However, while I expect to take more time off work than my mother was able to when my children are small, I plan to have a career, too. My mother has started to question her life choices, but I defend them wholeheartedly. A trip to Egypt last year and various spa visits over the past few years have been testament to the fact that our relationship is a good one.

You can read the whole article here.

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See also:

Voddie Baucham’s sermon Biblical Womanhood.

The Berean Wife’s article Feminism Has Made Women Unhappy.

Other articles from the Daily Mail feature on DefCon under the posts The Attack on Men and Fathers and Not Dying For the Sins of Her Father.





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Sermon of the week: “Biblical Manhood” by Voddie Baucham.

Baucham on Screen We continue with week three of our four-week series on Biblical manhood. This week’s sermon of the week is aptly entitled Biblical Manhood by Voddie Baucham. I trust that you will be blessed, challenged, convicted, and encouraged by both parts one and two.

Biblical Manhood 1

Biblical Manhood 2