The Pain of Cancer in a Child

Preaching and teaching about handling the trials and tribulations of life is always easier than the day you personally encounter those difficulties. When our family spoke of going to Liberia as missionaries, we were not prepared for the very real eventuality that it came close to taking the life of my daughter and myself.

However, through that painful time, we had a small handful of family and friends who supported us financially as well as in prayer. One of those is my dear friend and close brother in Christ, J.L. Pattison, and his lovely family.

J.L. has been a long-time contributor to this blog since the time that it was Defending Contending. I have had the privilege of being their pastor in the past when we lived in deserts of Nevada, and have watched them grow.

Yet, nothing could have prepared us for the news that we received this last November.

This was the beginning in his words —

On November 15, 2019, an x-ray for persistent leg pain in our five-year-old son’s left leg revealed a large tumor that originated in the bone of the upper portion of his femur. After an MRI, we were told by an oncologist in Reno, Nevada that it is likely Ewing Sarcoma. A week later a biopsy was conducted in Salt Lake City, Utah where we were told it was Osteosarcoma.

With only a 70% survival rate, our family has moved from the mourning phase of this life-shattering news, to the action phase where we are fighting for Kohen’s life.

Kohen is a precious little boy and has one of the sweetest personalities. His brothers and sisters have been very supportive through this painful process, but this is taking a toll on everybody. They are all aware that this cancer may end this little life at the worst scenario, or that during his upcoming surgery in March, may require the amputation of his entire leg.

While J.L. and his family are not perfect, they have learned to depend on the sovereign purposes of He who alone is Perfect in every way. They know that the wrong question is “Why did God…?” The Biblical question that they are praying for strength to ask every day is “God, how will you use this to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ?”

I want to encourage each of you to go to “The Kohen Chronicles” and follow the Pattison’s journey through this valley.

Pray for them. Pray for strength, for grace, for healing, for wisdom for the medical teams, and most of all that God will be glorified through this trial. Send a card or gift to them and to Kohen. Any outpouring of support would be greatly appreciated.

Our hearts ache with each new blogpost. While our tears will never match those of the Pattison family, we know that in Christ we share a bond that is anything but common.

J.L. asked us to hold off until now to share this news, but we will now be posting regular updates to Truth in Grace.

Brother, you and your family are dearly loved! There is nothing else I can say right now, except to share this short poem written many, many years ago by a British minister, and the beautiful hymn from the Gettys.

“We cannot Lord, Thy purpose see,
but all is well, that is done by Thee.”

The Death of Christopher Hitchens

Renown speaker, author and self avowed atheist Christopher Hitchens died at age 62 yesterday. Mr. Hitchens was perhaps most well-known for his atheism and consistent attacks against religion, primarily Christianity. He was previously diagnosed with esophageal cancer and underwent medical treatment, including chemotherapy, to treat the disease. Ultimately he succumbed to pneumonia as a complication of the cancer and died. Prior to his death, many Christians prayed for Mr. Hitchens, for his healing and for God to save his soul. Mr. Hitchens found this to be interesting, but assured the public that any stories of his deathbed conversion would be fabricated.

The question that stands before us today of course, is where is Christopher Hitchens today. According to Mr. Hitchens, he simply ceased to exist, nothing more. But for the Christian, we know that we exist for eternity once this mortal body ceases functioning. There are only two possibilities as to where, Heaven or Hell. As Mr. Hitchens was created by God, and was bound to God’s laws, as we all are, he can only be in one of those two places. At first, it may seem quite easy to figure it out. He denied God, spoke vehemently against the Christian faith, and was often hateful and vitriolic in his speech regarding it. Considering that he made the statement there would be no deathbed conversion, it would be a simple thing to declare God sent him to hell. However, the truth is, we simply do not, and cannot know.

It is clear that Mr. Hitchens made a career of hating the very idea of God. But it is also clear that he was a common sinner just like the rest of us. He had a conscience, he was aware of right and wrong. He, like the rest of us, committed acts that were in violation of that conscience. We know that our consciences are God’s laws written upon our hearts. When we violate our conscience, we are violating God’s laws. Additionally, Mr. Hitchens debated with many Christians, he had heard the gospel presentation many times. There is little question that by the time of his death, Mr. Hitchens knew what God required of him. It is that time just prior to his death that we cannot know about. Is it at least possible, that as he faced those last moments, knowing death was coming that he considered those sins he committed, that he contemplated the gospel he had denied so many times, that he just might have repented and trusted Christ. If we are intellectually honest, we must say that it is possible. And since we cannot know, we hope that is what happened. We hope that we will find Mr. Hitchens in Heaven one day, for we do not wish the wrath of God on any man.

But we must also be honest say that he may not have repented. It is entirely possible that Mr. Hitchens held on to his rejection of God all the way into death. If so, Mr. Hitchens now stands before God in judgment for his sins. And not just for his atheism. As said before, our consciences are merely God’s law written on our hearts. When any man or woman breaks those laws, through lying, stealing, coveting, lusting, or blaspheming, they have sinned against a holy and righteous God. It is not just because he was an atheist that Mr. Hitchens may have stood condemned, it is because, as we all are, he was a sinner against the God who created him. And if that indeed is what occurred, even we Christians must mourn his death, for we do not wish Hell on any man. But we also rejoice that God is glorified, because His justice is perfect.

So what does that mean for the Christian? First, let us not run around proclaiming we know where Christopher Hitchens is, only God knows that. Let us share with people the truth, that if he repented and trusted Christ (which is our hope), he is in Heaven. But if he remained in his sins, he was condemned (as we all deserve). Let us not rejoice that another atheist voice is silent, that presents us as unkind and unloving. But let us not ignore that what he taught was blasphemous. As we engage in coversation with others on this, let us remember that, whatever Mr. Hitchens fate was, all of us face the same date with death. All of us will one day die and stand before the Lord. Let that motivate us to share the gospel with everyone we meet. Let his death stand as a reminder that our lives are but a vapor, our next breath is not guaranteed. Thus, it is imperative that we share the gospel, the good news that Jesus Christ died for sinners, and that salvation is available through Him alone. Christians, let us be about our Father’s business of proclaiming this good news.

One year ago today.

Judgment Day It was exactly one year ago today that my wife’s stepfather (a very high degree Mason) passed away after being diagnosed with cancer a month previous to that. She took care of him at his home and after his passing she penned her thoughts–only recently revealing them to me.

With her permission her letter is reprinted below for your edification.

I have just had my first real, up-close experience with death. There are a few things I observed that I would like to share:

I have known people that have passed on and you mourn a little and have the usual thoughts like, “Why them? It’s just not fair,” “But he was such a good man,” “She was just so young”, or, “Well, at least they are in a better place now.”

They’re right, life isn’t fair. Praise God that life isn’t always fair. If it was fair, there would be no hope whatsoever for me a wretched soul, or for you or for anyone. I deserve an eternity in hell and it is only by the grace of God and God alone, that if He so chooses I may escape the punishment I am deserving of and enter into an eternity with Him.

If only people knew and realized the truth that none of us are good, no not even one, then they would know better than to say “But he was such a good man.”

How can they say “They are in a better place now, at least they are out of pain.” Do they know this? Do they know that this person was a believer? If not, they must not know either, that there is much more pain in the Lake of Fire than there is here on earth.

The next thing I realized was what a shame it is the way we spend so much of our lives. We work so hard at the trivial, materialistic things in life that I guarantee will someday not matter to you one bit! All of the “things you possess don’t matter one iota when you are stuck lying in a bed, immobile, facing what is to so many, too many – the unknown.

My stepfather was diagnosed with cancer on September 4th, 2008, just under 1 month after his 61st birthday. On September 5th we brought him home on hospice. He always loved working on his computer. He would spend hours in his back room playing on it.

While I was at his home caring for him, I would offer to set him up with my laptop so he could do what he enjoyed. He tried this a couple of times, but it just didn’t work like it used to. His mind wasn’t sharp and he didn’t have the energy or desire to do what he could once do so easily. He was just like one of my children to me. I wanted to give him anything I could to make him happy. I would sit and think “what could I bring him that he could enjoy.” I would bring sweets, watermelon, tacos, anything I thought would taste good to him, but he didn’t really care about food that much either. I would bring him better nightgowns, a new toothbrush, a good electric shaver…anything that I thought might bring him just a moment of pleasure. The problem is, that he had a whole life of sinful pleasure and now there was only one thing that he needed now, and that was to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I tried a couple of pathetic attempts to talk to him, about his need for Christ. But, I still had time so I figured I would get to it at some point and besides I had sent my pastor to speak with him so I knew he had heard the Gospel from him, (a lousy excuse, I know.)

My stepfather often had visitors, which is more than many people have. So often people are left in institutions to die with no one by their side, no one to show them kindness in their final days, no one who can offer them the Gospel.

The only time they see their loved ones is when they are coming to claim what they feel rightfully belongs to them. Many people came to claim their part of my stepfather’s belongings. His brother came first, asking for his truck, my mother wanted to make sure she was on his life insurance policy and other possessions were passed out like candy.

My step-father had been getting along okay considering the circumstances. He was bedridden, but for the most part still had his wits about him. He was on heavy pain meds so he had good and bad moments.

On October 1st everything sort of fell apart. I will spare you unnecessary details, but the nurse had come out to bathe him that morning and another nurse had come to check on his vitals and such. He was in some pain after he had to move around in bed to be bathed so the nurse gave him some liquid morphine and from that moment on, he was no longer with us. The next day he slept almost the entire day. I had to call the CNA out to help me change his bedding and when we tried, he would scream and cry out in pain. It was so awful. I was fighting back tears as I watched this man wince with every slight movement or touch. It was so agonizing and excruciating for him just thinking of it brings me to tears. At one point I had to tell the nurse to stop, I could not bear to see him in this amount of pain. I can only imagine or liken this to what it must be like in hell. Unfortunately in hell, there is no one there to be your advocate, to stop the torture for you, to save you.

After we got through changing the bed he slept all the rest of the day. His mouth was so dry it was cracked and bleeding. I would try to moisten it with a wet sponge, but it did no good. It was this moment that made me think about the rich man who was begging for just one taste of water; the man who realized the mistake he had made and begged for someone to go and warn his family that they may be spared. This rich man was now my stepfather lying in that bed and it was now too late. Too late for me to share the Gospel with him, too late for me to warn him!

My sister called me the next day–he had passed away. I went to my mom’s and all the family was standing around mourning, waiting for the funeral home to come and get him and then it came. The usual utterances, “He’s in a better place now, he is out of pain.” And I wanted to scream! How can you say that? How do you know that?

How stupid I was! How foolish! Oh how my heart aches that I had not been courageous enough to share the GOOD NEWS with him, this dying man who needed hope, needed a Saviour.

How foolish we all are. Where do our treasures really lie? If we truly believe and realize what happens to a nonbeliever when they leave this world why then are we not willing to say anything? Why are we so ashamed to offer hope and knowledge of salvation to these people who are just like we once were? Or are we really so fooled by this twisted concept of Christianity that American churches serve to us on our silver platter that we don’t care!

I can only imagine my stepfather, as the rich king was pleading that someone go and warn his family. Only 7 months later, his brother passed away from the same illness and as far as I am aware, never came to a saving knowledge of our Lord.