Humor

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Cultoons: A dying man on a Mormon’s doorstep.

DefCon is pleased to introduce its first ever Cultoon. If the dialogue in this Cultoon sounds familiar, it was loosely derived from an actual debate featured on this previous post. Enjoy.

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“Chuck Smith, Calvary Chapel, and their Ignorance Fest on Calvinism.”

As a follow-up to Brother Michael’s previous post on Chuck Smith (found here), I’m presenting an audio clip of a critique that James White did in response to an audio clip of Chuck Smith and other Calvary Chapel speakers in which they attacked the Doctrines of Grace, equated Calvinists to cultists, and even opposed God’s sovereignty.

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The Fall of the United States of Rome.

Martin Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981) offers a sobering warning from the grave:

If the West goes down and is defeated, it will be for one reason only: internal rot . . . If we continue to spend our lives in jollification, doing less and less work, demanding more and more money, more and more pleasure and so-called happiness, more and more indulgence of the lusts of the flesh, with a refusal to accept our responsibilities, there is but one inevitable result—complete and abject failure. Why did the Goths and Vandals and other barbarians conquer the ancient Roman Empire? Was it by superior military power? Of course not! Historians know that there is only one answer: the fall of Rome came because of the spirit of indulgence that had invaded the Roman world—the games, the pleasures, the baths. The moral rot that had entered into the heart of the Roman Empire was the cause of Rome’s “decline and fall.” It was not superior power from the outside, but internal rot that was Rome’s ruination. And the really alarming fact today is that we are witnessing a similar declension in this and most other Western countries. This slackness, this indiscipline, the whole outlook and spirit is characteristic of a period of decadence. The pleasure mania, the sports mania, the drink and drug mania have gripped the masses.

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Welcome to the gospel in America in the 21st century.

The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining.  – Neil Postman

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Coexist.

The following great piece comes from Jake Hunt at WiserTime:

You’ve seen these, right? They make me mad. Why? Because they don’t really mean what they say.

Let’s break it down. We’ll call each worldview by the letter it’s supposed to represent. So:

  • C = Islam
  • O = Pacifism
  • E = “Gender equality” (=the LGBT agenda)
  • X = Judaism
  • I = Wicca / Pagan / Bah’ai
  • S =Taoism / Confucianism
  • T = Christianity

And let’s assume a very broad definition of “coexist”: living together without calling for the destruction of each other. Here are the problems with that:

  • C wants to kill E, X, T, and (by implication) O. If they achieved the world they wanted, I and S would also no longer exist.
  • O doesn’t allow for effective resistance or defeat of C.
  • E stands in direct opposition to C, X, and T, and accuses those who speak against them of hate speech. Also, they’re trying to edge X and T out of public schools in favor of their own agenda. (They’re afraid C will be offended, so they get less trouble.) E is actually very, very intolerant.
  • X’s existence is threatened not only by C but also by O, who invariably supports C over X.
  • I and S are statistically insignificant and are mainly on there to complete the bumper sticker.
  • T is who the bumper sticker is really arguing against, but poses no physical threat to any of the others.

Historically, T has brought about more tolerance– “coexistence” if you will– than any other movement. But the kind of “coexistence” the people who make this sticker envision is one where at least X and T are completely marginalized.

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Sarcasm at its finest: Happy spots and Hollywood.

Sometimes you can just use a good laugh.

The following video is a great follow-up of the post Woe Unto You.

And this video is a great follow-up to The Idolatry of Celebrity Worship.


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Wal-Mart now sells cult literature.

A few days ago I entered the book section of a local Wal-Mart and was shocked to see a large section of books on Mormonism. And no, this Wal-Mart was not in Utah.

I then checked the internet and discovered they even sell Mormonism’s plagiarized piece of fiction known as the Book of Mormon online. (To understand more about the Book of Mormon check out this excellent documentary.)

I never thought I’d see the day when a major retailer would carry cult literature. I suppose this isn’t much of stretch for Wal-Mart, though. They’ve been selling Rick Warren, Joel Osteen, and Joyce Meyer for years.

I wonder if the Jehovah’s Witnesses will demand their place on Wal-Mart’s bookshelves next.

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Will the Mormon church be able to stop NASA’s attack on the moon people?

Mormon MoonWith NASA’s planned bombing of the moon this Friday (see the news article here), I have to ask again (as I did last year when the announcement was first made), Will the Mormon church be able to stop NASA’s planned assault of the moon?

Since Mormon leaders have taught that the moon is populated (along with the sun), I anticipate that the LDS church will vehemently protest this planned attack on the moon. I expect to see the LDS church publicly confront NASA on their disregard for human life and their insensitivity to the inhabitants of the moon.

This NASA experiment has the potential to not only harm the human inhabitants of the moon, but if the moon dwellers are growing any of those spiritual LDS vegetables, those crops and their entire agricultural infrastructure are sure to be decimated as well.

Can the LDS save the moon people and spiritual veggies in time? If they don’t take a stand here and now Kolob may be next!

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Woe unto you.

Anytime someone enters into a new culture it is important for them to understand the customs and even the language of that culture. Many cultures differ from ours and their words, terms, and expressions can hold entirely different meanings to them than they do to us.

It is for this reason that I’ve chosen to provide the readers of DefCon with the following public service to help everyone understand the new culture that is before us. So many times we come into contact with others on this blog who are from a world entirely foreign to ours. When you make a statement, the new wave of Laodicean Christians may define it very differently from how you understand it and meant it.

In order to avoid the confusion that would arise as a result of this, simply refer to this handy little guide when you are engaging those from Cultural Christianity.

What you mean

vs

What they mean:

Seeking after holiness = Legalism

Exercising Discernment = Judging

False conversion = Carnal Christian

Tolerating sinful behavior = Christian Love

Following Christ’s commands = Phariseeism

Exposing false prophets = Touching God’s anointed

Not following false prophets = You’re not spiritual enough

Tolerating lies, errors, deception, and heresy = Christian Unity

Hell = God would never send anyone to Hell, he is a god of love

God’s judgment and wrath = Not the god I serve, he is a god of love

Friendship with the world = Gotta be like them to reach them

Belief in the final authority of Scripture = Intolerant fundamentalist

Use of vulgarities and coarse language, being obscene and offensive = Hip and relevant; showing the world how real we are

~~~~~~~~~~

Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes And clever in their own sight!

– Isaiah 5:20-21

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Crosstalk: Watch Your Mouth!

Professing Christians with potty mouths and gutter mentalities is one thing, but what happens when it’s a pastor?

On this edition of Crosstalk entitled Watch Your Mouth, Ingrid Schlueter and guest Cathy Mickels discuss this awful trend of worldly humor, coarse jesting, and crude language in the church and spewing from the mouths of those like Mark Driscoll.

Ingrid also discusses the shocking post from Chris Roseborough of A Little Leaven in which he has a post on his other blog Extreme Theology which is less than appropriate. The post in question contains a quote from Bill Cosby that the nature of which should not be found on a Christian blog. Chris’ lapse in judgment is still up on his blog here. I agree with Ingrid on this one Chris, it is highly inappropriate and should be removed.

Ingrid also discusses the twisted love affair some professing Christians have with the world and its profane, vulgar, God-hating entertainers. She addresses a supposed Christian blog that flowingly lavished the late George Carlin with undeserved accolades. Something you’d expect from the world, not Christians who are called to be separate from the world.

I have seen this blog in question and was appalled at the plethora of so-called Christians who honor a man whose life was the antithesis of all that is good, holy, and honorable in God’s sight. You can check out the drivel here and read Ingrid’s post on it here.

All in all, I agree 100% with Ingrid and her guest on this issue. It’s a sad testament to the current state of the bloated, lethargic, worldly, adolescent, social-club that is the church-of-me.

********** Update July 17, 2008 **********

Since the publishing of this post, Chris Roseborough has removed the profanity from his blog and replaced it with “jerk.”