Friendship

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Christian & a Transgender Dialogue

In these two videos, Ryan Haines engages in a conversation with Seraphim Step. They are good friends. Seraphim identifies as a transgender individual and Ryan is a true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ.

My purpose in sharing these two videos is because, as Christians, we are called to share the truth of God’s Word. 1 Peter 3:15 reveals that we should be ready to give an answer to anybody who asks us for a reason for the hope that is within us. Peter continues though by clarifying that we are to do so with meekness and fear. Belittling those who live under the judgment of God does not show them the love of Christ. We do not have to love, like, or endorse any actions within the LGBTQ community, but we can and should share that Christ came to the earth to save sinners.

In the first of the two videos, they discuss the terms about what transgenderism is all about, and how Seraphim came to the opinion that he was trapped in a male body and has made the decision to have surgery. This surgery is for the purpose of supposedly completing the transformation from male to female.  Unless your children are older, this may not be an appropriate video for them to see even though the two do not discuss anything explicit.

The second video is an open and Biblical explanation by Ryan sharing lovingly about the God of creation. He tells the viewer why and how God created two genders – male and female, and covers the Biblical mandate for marriage and the sexual relationship that was created for good.

One of the areas that I appreciated hearing from Ryan is the defining of Biblical terms such as “abomination” and what qualifies as an abomination before a holy and just God. If the term abomination is used just to define sexual immorality, the person using the term is not being faithful to Scripture. Ultimately, ALL sin is an abomination before God.

The bottom line is that true believers in the Lord Jesus Christ should be willing to reach out to those who have chosen a path that goes against the holiness of God. We can show friendship toward those who are searching for truth. God does forgive sin and He also brings healing.

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True Friendship

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Throughout most of my life, I have wondered how many true friends I really have. It’s easy for people to say, “I’m praying for you” or “I think of you even when I don’t write,” but I always wondered if that were really the case (although I am guilty of thinking of people more than I write as well).

Lately, I have realized that I do have a few close friends, and I sometimes wonder why since many seem to have none.

John 15:13 tells us: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

I used to interpret this in terms of dying, but that is not the only way to lay down a life. I have been blessed lately by friends who are willing to serve me, going far and above the call of duty, and I’ve decided nothing says friendship like that does. I am very blessed to have a family that loves me and does so much for me but I’m not sure how to handle it when others do those same things for me. At the same time, I’m very grateful when they do.

I am also thankful for friends who text and email me just to see how I’m doing. This takes a bit of time and thought on my friends’ part so speaks “care” to me as well.

And last but not least are the friends I know who pray for me frequently. I know this is often what gets me through life. Without this, I’m convinced my struggles would be greater so I do not take this for granted.

True friendship can be measured in different ways. What means a lot to me may not mean a lot to you but the point is that the world is in need of people who really care. Christians should radiate love to everyone around them.

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Christians should be trustworthy, not given to gossip or slander. Too often, people suffer in silence because they don’t know who to trust, and the fact is they may not have anyone to trust. This is so sad.

You are called to be a Light in a dark world. Part of being that Light is being different. The only one you should be comparing yourself to is Christ. He epitomized love and care and compassion, and He wanted His children to extend that same love, care, and compassion to others. Instead, we tend to focus on ourselves and our needs that we forget about those who could use a kind, comforting word.

If you have a true friend in your life, someone you can lean on in your times of trial, who will pray with you when you need it and never make you feel like a burden, take time to tell that friend how thankful you are to have them in your life, and be sure to pray for them in return.

If there are people that God has put in your life to be a friend to, be faithful to be that true friend that points them to Jesus and shows them His love. After all, you may be the only true friend they ever have.

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Reach Out

A friend and I were talking recently, and it seems like a lot of people have a hard time truly getting close to others. Maybe they would consider themselves having close friends but, when it comes to deep conversations about spiritual things or what is going on in their lives, they feel uncomfortable. Maybe they are afraid of losing that friendship or maybe they were raised in a home where “what goes on in the home stays in the home.” There is a place for that, but I feel like there are a lot of lonely people because of this mindset.

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Several years ago, I found myself saying, “I don’t need more surface friends; I have plenty of those.” I was looking for friends I could be real with, who would bear with me if I wasn’t always “up.” Looking at my life now, I realize God answered the cry of my heart. I have many friends where the extent of our relationship is catching up periodically and praying for each other as God brings them to mind. But I also have some that I believe truly love and care for me and who would do anything for me if they were capable of doing so. These are friends who will take time to listen to me when I’m up and when I’m down. On the days that I can only cry, they are there to encourage me and make sure I’m OK. This is priceless to me.

I realize not everyone has this, and many are afraid to be real because they don’t want to risk rejection. I understand this but I also know we live in a world that is longing for love. You don’t know when you might reach out to that person who will walk with you in good times and bad.

We were not meant to be alone. Sure, there are times that God brings us through deserted valleys to draw us closer to Him, but many times we are there because of our own decisions and our unwillingness to trust. I know because I’ve been there.

God is obviously the best friend you could have and the most important friend to go to in time of trouble. However, if you do not have someone in your life that will encourage you and pray with and for you when these times come, ask God to show you who may be willing to be that person in your life. Is there anyone you have a burden for that you could reach out to and be that kind of friend for them? It could be a neighbor, a relative, someone at church … whoever it is, follow God’s leading and trust Him to bless.

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How To Show Someone You Care

Most people who know me now don’t realize that, by nature, I am pretty insecure. I’ve never been “popular,” so I still have times of wondering if anyone loves me and why. Since coming to know the Lord, I fight to not let that rise to the surface. Instead, when the battle of the mind begins, I pray and ask God to help me to show His love to others. The Bible says that “a man that has friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24) and, although I don’t claim to do this perfectly, God has blessed me with wonderful friends who really do seem to care and whom I am pretty sure really pray for me.

I think sometimes people care more than one might realize so I wanted to give some tips that, at least for me, helps to show me that my friends are not just putting up with me but that they do indeed care.

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1) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Sometimes I think people don’t want to pry into a person’s life because they don’t want to appear nosy, or maybe they think it’s none of their business. The fact is, many times a hurting person really wants someone to talk to but they don’t want to burden others. Lines such as, “I’m having a really rough day today” or “Please pray for me today” are often doorways for you to stop what you are doing and ask if they would like to talk about it. If your response is merely, “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll be praying for you,” that will be taken as you don’t want to hear about it or don’t really care. I am not discrediting prayer at all and, if you really don’t want to hear about it or don’t have time to do so, then that at least is a sympathetic response but, if this is a person you really care about, take time to ask them what’s going on. If they don’t want to say, they will tell you but at least they know you are available.

2) Listen. Sometimes when I’m going through a difficult time, I want advice but many times I just need to talk. Don’t feel like you need to have “answers.” Obviously, if God brings something to your mind which will help the person, share that but do it with a posture of humility, realizing that it is the person’s choice whether they take your advice or not. Mostly let them talk it out, pray with them, ask God to give you a burden for this person. It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives that we don’t really invest in the lives of others but, if God has put a person into your life, it’s for a reason. Make sure you are being the friend they need.

3) Pray. It’s one thing to say “I’ll pray for you” and another thing to actually do so. If you commit to pray for a person, write it down, put it on your calendar, do whatever you need to do to remember to pray for this person. Then take the time periodically to let the person know you are praying. This will encourage them immensely. I have over 1,000 Facebook friends and I see many prayer requests every day. Because of this, I have learned not to promise every person that I will pray but, if it is an urgent need, I will pray right away and sometimes post a comment stating that. I also have friends who text or email me requests. These I take more seriously and ask for God’s help to remember them. I have had people that I don’t know real well message me because they know I pray. I don’t know how they know that but I consider it quite a compliment and, again, if they have taken the time to ask me personally, I want to take it seriously.

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4) Initiate interaction. If God brings someone to your mind, take time to call, text, or email that person. Many times, that is what it’s taken for me to realize a person really loves and cares for me. If I am always the one who initiates interaction, I begin to wonder, but getting a message out of the blue that says someone was thinking of me, praying for me, etc. makes my day. It lets me know I really am loved and that even God loves me enough to lay me on someone’s heart periodically. You don’t know what kind of day that person may be having, and it could be your simple act of loving kindness that lifts their spirits and brings a smile to their face. That is not a small thing.

5) Be thankful. I think this is usually the most neglected of all. Not that we aren’t thankful for our friends but I think we don’t often let them know. Take time periodically to do just that. Thank them for their love and their friendship. If someone gives you a gift, don’t just thank them at the moment (that’s common courtesy and is expected); go above and beyond the call of duty and also thank them a month, a year, five years down the road … especially if it’s something you still use. Several years ago, a friend came to visit and, as a “hostess gift,” she gave me a couple CDs. (This was a special blessing, as it showed how well she knows me.) I’ve not done it for a while but, periodically, when I would listen to the CDs, I would write to her to let her know I was listening to them and thinking of her. I just wanted to make sure she knew that she did not waste her money on those. They are still used and appreciated.

I’m sure this is far from being an exhaustive list but hopefully it will help you in reaching out to those special people in your life and making them feel truly loved. If there are other things that you have found to be meaningful in showing love to others, feel free to post it in the comments. If you are one who feels like no one really cares about you, I assure you that is probably not the case. We live in a hectic, fast-paced society. Many are struggling just to keep up and they don’t have time to think beyond their own day-to-day trials. Then there are others who just don’t know how to show that they care. It doesn’t mean they don’t. Purpose to be a friend, to show God’s love, and to think of others instead of yourself. Even if it doesn’t come back to you from people, you will receive your reward in Heaven, and I believe you will feel God even nearer while on earth, which is really the most important One to be close to anyway.

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I Want to Start Sharing the Gospel, Part 2

In my last article, I shared three things that I believe every Christian must be doing before they step out into the world to start sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ: study the Word of God, pray, and give worship and praise to the Lord who saved you. All three of these things are the necessisties of any Christian walk. There can be no growth and maturing without them. And they are absolutely essential in preparing one’s self for the spiritual warfare that is the saving of souls. Today, in the theme of preparing ourselves for witnessing, I want to address some rather unbliblical methods that are being employed by Christians, ministries and churches that should avoided. Believe it or not, it really does make a difference about how you share your faith. The methods that I want to share today are very popular, but they are antithetical to the gospel and have often been responsible for creating false converts, those who profess a faith in Christ, but have never truly repented and put their faith in them. If we are to be obedient to the command to preach the gospel, then we want to avoid those methods that are not in line with God’s word.

God Has a Wonderful Plan for Your Life

Perhaps one of the most common evangelistic approaches today is for the Christian to approach an unrepentant, unregenerate sinner and to explain to him or her that God deeply and truly loves that person and has a “wonderful plan” for their life. The pitch usually states that all the joys of this world are insufficient, always leaving us wanting more. We chase after the elusive concept of happiness, but are never really satisfied. But if the sinner will just “accept Jesus” who died for their sins (a concept only briefly mentioned and never explained) then God will grant them peace, love and joy in abundance, fulfilling all the wants and desires the world never could. The sinner is then encouraged to pray a prayer, to make Jesus their Lord, and then is told without question that they are a Christian and to never, ever doubt it.

This approach sounds so kind and loving, ensuring the lost person that the promises of God will be extended to them without question, so how could there be anything wrong with it? Unfortunately, there is a lot wrong. Let’s start with the fact that the presentation that God “loves the sinner” is innacurate. A sinner, by definition, is a lawbreaker and rebel against the Lord who created him or her. Remember that God is holy and righteous, so much so that a guilty sinner cannot stand in His presence and not be destroyed. In fact, Psalm 7: 11 states, “God is a just judge, and is angry with the wicked every day.” It is a false statement to tell a sinner that God loves them when there are standing in a rebellious state before Him. Such a claim leaves the sinner believing God likes them “for who they are” and that their sins are not really an abomination before Him. If they do not understand the nature of their sin, sinners will not repent before a holy God.

Another problem is the promise that God has a wonderful plan for the sinner. This is problematic on many levels. First off, in their sinful state, the only plan God has for them is judgment. Certainly, this in not “wonderful.” Secondly, if a person truly becomes a Christian, Jesus taught His followers, “Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him,” (John 13: 16). If Christ is the Christian’s master, and Christ was so hated by the world that He was persecuted and crucified, what is the promise for the Christian? Followers of Christ can expect the world to hate and persecute them, and that life in this world will not be comfortable for them. The promises of peace and having an “abundant life” for the Christian are not tied to worldly comforts, but having peace with God through Christ’s shed blood and by no longer being shackled to our sinful nature. Yet, to the unregenerate sinner, such a promise of a “wonderful life” is devoid of such meaning because they lack understanding of their sinful state and coming judgement. Christians dare not use the fruits of salvation as a draw card to entice the unbeliever into becoming a Christian.

Just Let People See Jesus in You

In our current, post-modern culture, telling someone that their life is considered sinful before God and they are pending His righteous judgment is probably the worst “sin” a person can commit. In fact, telling people that your beliefs are right and their’s are wrong is equally terrible in the eyes of society. So the church has developed a much less assertive method of evangelism. This is the “live your life in such a way that people just have to ask you about it” method. I have heard on many occasions from professing Christians that we shouldn’t be pushy or preachy with unbelievers. We should just live good and kind lives. This will clearly lead those around us to see there is something different about us and cause them to ask us what it is. When they do, then we can tell them that Jesus gives us that joy and peace that the rest of the world lacks. Unfortunately, when you press the issue, most Christians will admit that this rarely, if ever happens.

The sad truth of the matter is that this method of evangelism accomplishes nothing. While the Christian must live a life of obedience to God, without an explanation of what the gospel is and why we obey the Lord out of love, the sinner has nothing to differentiate our “good lives” from that of the Hindu, the Muslim or the atheist. Their standard of “good” is a worldly standard, and they will equate the goodness of the Christian is the same as any other religious, or non-religious, person. In other words, they have no real reason to believe that your “good life” is any different than anyone else’s, so there is no need to believe there is anything special about it.

The other problem with this is that the unsaved person is standing before God with His holy and righteous wrath awaiting them. If we desire to see them saved from the fires of Hell, why are we hoping to entice them with a few good works? To borrow an analogy from Ray Comfort, if you saw a neighbor’s house on fire, would you walk up and down the sidewalk in a happy and kind manner hoping to draw them out? Or would you run up to the door, yelling and screaming about the danger they were in and urging them to flee to safety? If you truly care about the unsaved sinner, you will warn them about the danger now, while there is still time.

Friendship Evangelism

Friendship evangelism is a modern concept that teaches the Christian must befriend and nuture a realtionship with a person before the subject of Jesus ever comes up. In fact, it is stressed that the Christian must “earn the right” to share the gospel with that person before they ever open their mouth on the subject. The belief is that if we, as Christians, do not earn this right, then we could drive off the person by being too “preachy” or “judgmental” and they will never “accept Jesus.”

Such a method denies several things. First, it denies the very power of the gospel itself. If the gospel is the power of God unto salvation (Romans 1:16), then I never need to dress it up, ease it in, or earn the right to proclaim it. It is the very message of God that Jesus Christ came into this world to save sinners. There is no more important message to share with someone, a message that has eternal consequences. To delay sharing it because I need to “earn the right” denies that the simple proclamation of it is insufficient and that I must add something to it, my own work, before it can be used.

Secondly, it denies the manner throughout scripture we see it proclaimed. During His earthly ministry, Christ confronted sinners with their desperate need for salvation. In John 3, Nicodemus comes to Jesus by night with great flowing words of praise. Christ did not even hesitate, but told him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God,” (John 3: 3) Jesus did not attempt to win this influential teacher as a friend, rather he drove straight into the heart of the matter, wasting no time. In the following chapter, Jesus speaks to the woman at the well in Samaria. Once again, we see our Lord wasting no time addressing the alduterous lifestyle of a woman who just met him. He did not attempt a long, extended effort at befriending her, Jesus spoke plainly to her about her greatest need. And if theses examples are not enough, look to Peter at Pentecost where he addressed the crowds and 3,000 came to repentance and faith (Acts 2). Or look to Paul on Mars Hill in Athens where Paul spoke to a crowd of pagan philosophers (Acts 17). In neither case did either of these apostles attempt to befriend the crowds, they simply proclaimed the gospel, trusting in the power of God to bring salvation.

Lastly, it denies the command of God Himself. Jesus commanded His disciples, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature,” (Mark 16: 15) and to “…make disciples of all the nations…” (Matthew 28:19). If we practice friendship evangelism, as it is defined today, then we are stating we do not have to follow this command until we feel we are good and ready. We are going to delay the need to obey God’s command until such a time as we feel comfortable to do so. Yet, nowhere in scripture is such a caveat given. Nowhere does Christ command that the gospel message be delayed until a more opportune time. In fact, we are reminded continually that we do not know the hour of Christ’s return, or even when our last breath with be. The gospel message is one that must be proclaimed with urgency. To delay that because we must make them our friend first denies that God will take that person out of this life at a time of His choosing, which could be well before that “friendship” is established. If we practice this method, we are assuming God will allow that person to never encounter death until we have share the gospel with them. That is a dangerous presumption to make. We should never delay this most important message of all.

So What Do I Actually Say?

There is in fact a truly biblical method of evangelism. A method that exposes the unregenerate sinner to his condemned state before God and his desperate need for a Savior. In my next article I will address this method specifically.