Considering the fact that Campus Crusade for Christ was the organization that gave us the “4 Spiritual Laws” that began with “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life” I shouldn’t really be too surprised about what I read of them today.
I’m not surprised, but I am saddened.
Apparently, catching the wave that has been stirred by “hip/cool/relevant” churches nationwide, they have decided to drop one of the more offensive words from the name of their organization. You may be thinking, “Well, of course! The word ‘Crusade’ conjures up many bad images in people’s minds.”
And you would be wrong.
It is not the word ‘Crusade’ that is being removed–that word is simply being shortened. The offensive word that is being completely removed is…
I had posted the following on my own blog about a year and a half ago. When you stop to think about it, it is more sad than it is humorous. And that because it is just as relevant now as it was then.
So here, then, is some satire, originally posted by the guys at Sacred Sandwich:
BUSY FAMILY HIRES PERSONAL CHURCH SHOPPER
DECEMBER 2006 — Growing bored with the outdated programs at their present church, the Henman family of Peoria, IL, recently hired Lucy Ditmer, a personal shopper, to find them a new church home to meet their spiritual needs. “Between my boy’s hockey games and my girl’s dance classes, I really don’t have the time to go church shopping,” said Helen Henman. “It’s a great relief to know that Lucy can take care of all that. The last thing Phil and I want to do right now is spend every Sunday morning going to strange churches just to see if they have cushioned seating and a proper food court.”
Ditmer, who has over five years experience as a personal shopper at Macy’s, began advertising her church shopping services when she saw a need for busy families who find it difficult to squeeze a religious life into their hectic schedules. “Most churches nowadays have sermons that last from ten minutes to an excruciating half hour,” Lucy explained. “My clients just don’t want to put themselves through that kind of ordeal when all they really want to know is whether the youth program has a Playstation 3. With my service, the clients just give me a checklist of all their felt needs and I do all the dirty work while they’re sleeping in on Sunday morning.”
One of Ditmer’s recent success stories comes from Judith and Bob Nickerson, a pair of sports enthusiasts who were looking for a church that provided for their physical needs as well as their spiritual ones. “Coming from a Methodist background, we were really surprised when Lucy recommended the Beth Israel Synagogue on Fifth Street,“ Judith said. “But we had to admit that it had the state-of-the-art exercise facility we were looking for. After a couple visits, we knew it was the place for us. In fact, we like it so much, Bob is getting circumcised next Thursday.”
As for the Henman family, they are anxious to see what Lucy finds for them. “Being without a church home these past few weeks has really taken a toll on our family,” Mrs. Henman admitted. “Just the other day Phil was dealing with a lot of stress at work and he needed a pastor to show him how Jesus dealt with project deadlines. If Lucy doesn’t hurry up and find us a church soon, we may be forced to open a Bible and look for the answer ourselves.”
OK, here is another quiz for you.
The question this time is, what kind of worship is the following quote describing? And, as usual, no fair Googling.
“The emphasis [is on] psychophysical relatedness and subjective experience…The transcendence of the deity is overcome in the ecstasy of feeling. Sensory participation is featured. Images are necessary-the bolder, the more colorful, the more sensational, the better. Music and dance become the means for drawing persons out of their private diversities and merging them into a mass response…worship [is] reduced to the spiritual stature of the worshipper. Its canons are that it should be interesting, relevant, and exciting.”