Parenting

by

Entertainment Tonight, Or Home Failures?

There will be many who would question my thoughts on this post, but before you comment or leave mad, I would implore you to consider the words of Scripture to see whether we have been truly led astray or whether what we set in front of our eyes and our children is really nothing more than harmless, mindless entertainment.

Let’s consider a few “harmless” movies and see if this is truly honoring and glorifying God in what they portray. These little insights can be found from Plugged In Online, which I highly recommend the reader to use when considering what will be shown to the family while enjoying a bowl of popcorn or ice cream. We will consider some of the worst aspects as there are plenty of people who will seek to point out the good that can be learned from watching the slurry that exudes from every pour of Hollywood.

Avatar – This movie has been covered in a recent post, but a few aspects to consider – “Both men and women wear little more than loincloths, and the race’s catlike tails don’t fully obscure their backsides. Neytiri and other Na’vi females wear ornamental coverings that don’t really conceal their breasts…a female pilot wears a tight, cleavage-revealing tank top. [Characters] are seen unclothed while strategically wrapped in vines. [The two main characters] consummate their relationship in a sensuous scene that shows them kissing and intertwined. They sleep together afterward and are said to be ‘mated for life.'”

Valentine’s Day – Great chick flick, right? Words better describing this entertaining movie for couples would be fornication, adultery, homosexuality, etc.

Dear John – another tear-jerker of a movie? – Again, fornication plays a part of this movie as does taking both the name of God and the Lord Jesus Christ in vain.

How about for the kids?

Where the Wild Things Are – only rated PG but manages to use the “d” and the “h” word along with taking the Lord’s name in vain a few times. What in the world are we teaching our children when this becomes acceptable? By the way, what is the operative number of times needed before the movie gets turned off????

Sherlock Holmes – Surely, just a remake of the old Basil Rathbones, right? Well, only if you throw in far too many sexual innuendos, drunken and debauched behaviour, and the Lord’s name taken in vain.

The Twilight Saga – Perfect for those nights your teenage girl wants her friends over for a great “Christian” sleepover. After their ears are filled with enough swear words to last a month along with the Lord’s name in vain, their eyes will have enjoyed the allure of vampires and humans longing to be with each other no matter what the cost.

2012 – For those who take an avid interest in wanting to know how the world will end according to Hollywood in 2 years, you will have 2 whole years to ingest the following details taken directly from Plugged In Online – “One f-word. Four s-words. Nearly 20 misuses of God’s name (paired with “d‑‑n” at least five times). Jesus’ name is abused twice. “A‑‑,” “h‑‑‑” and “b‑‑tard” are also blurted out. An obscene gesture is made.”

************
Dear reader, that is enough for now as we have not the time nor the inclination to review all movies both current and past for those who come to DefCon. However, the question you need to ask yourself is not, “Does this movie allow a good expression of the modern culture?” It is not, “Will I have a great time with my family or my wife as we waste the next two hours?” It is also not, “Does this movie portray POSITIVE elements that outweigh the ‘handful’ of bad things that might be in the movie?”

We are to be seeking to live a holy life in EVERY area of our lives before God and succumbing to the wiles of the evil one (via Hollywood and the silver screen) is a great way for your home to end up as a failure. It is about far more than just being entertained and having a great date with the wife or a “family” night at home (or at the movies) with the kids.

The questions should be, “Does EVERY aspect of this movie glorify God and bring honour to His HOLY name? Does this movie fill my mind with images that create lustful desires or does it point me to live more like Jesus Christ? Does this movie fill my ears with words that make my soul cringe or does it use wholesome speech that edifies my soul (you can also use this for preachers like Mark Driscoll as well)? Does this movie demean sex and the holy covenant of marriage or does it exalt the God-given responsibilities which help my spouse and I to be thankful for what we have learned and that we can implement in our own marriage?

In the words of several of the Psalms — Selah. Meditate on these things!

by

Quotes (692)

voddie-baucham If our homes are to reflect our position as the people of God in the midst of the opposition of a pagan culture, we, like the Israelites, must learn to love. Our homes must be rife with the aroma of love. Those who visit us should notice immediately that they have left the world of self-serving, egocentric narcissism and have entered a safe harbor where people value and esteem others above themselves. Outsiders should enter our homes and never want to leave. Our neighbors should find excuses to visit us just to get another whiff of the fragrant aroma of love. The brokenhearted should long to be near us. The downtrodden and the abused should seek us out. Families on the brink of disaster should point to us and say, “Why can’t out homes be like that?”

– Voddie Baucham

by

Quotes (691)

This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan and scheme and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, “How will this affect their souls?”

– J.C. Ryle

1816 – 1900

by

Quotes (681)

Our hearts are filled with gratitude for the privilege He gave us in being the wives of men who were chosen to be slain for His sake. None of us is worthy. It is all of His grace, but we know that the Lamb is worthy, a thousand times, the lives of our husbands and of us.  He chose to glorify Himself in their death—may He now glorify Himself in our lives.

[…]

Not only do we ask that Christ be glorified in the Aucas and in us, but also in our children. Most of them will have no recollection of their fine fathers. But our Lord gave His word, ‘All they children shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be the peace of they children.’ We ask for His wisdom in training them, for His Spirit in us, that they may be as obedient as their fathers. How wonderful it would be if He should prepare one or more of them to go to the Aucas! We would give them to Him for his use, asking that they come to know Him as Savior and Lord at an early age. Far be it from us to withhold from the Lord the lives of these little ones, children of the men who did not withhold their own lives. May they sing from true hearts,

Faith of our Fathers, Holy faith
We would be true to Thee till death.

—Elisabeth Elliott, Marjorie Saint, Marilou McCully, Olive Fleming, Barbara Youderian (respectively)

(Hat Tip: The Gospel Coalition)

by

More satire, this time from Sacred Sandwich

I had posted the following on my own blog about a year and a half ago. When you stop to think about it, it is more sad than it is humorous. And that because it is just as relevant now as it was then.

So here, then, is some satire, originally posted by the guys at Sacred Sandwich:

BUSY FAMILY HIRES PERSONAL CHURCH SHOPPER

DECEMBER 2006 — Growing bored with the outdated programs at their present church, the Henman family of Peoria, IL, recently hired Lucy Ditmer, a personal shopper, to find them a new church home to meet their spiritual needs. “Between my boy’s hockey games and my girl’s dance classes, I really don’t have the time to go church shopping,” said Helen Henman. “It’s a great relief to know that Lucy can take care of all that. The last thing Phil and I want to do right now is spend every Sunday morning going to strange churches just to see if they have cushioned seating and a proper food court.”

Ditmer, who has over five years experience as a personal shopper at Macy’s, began advertising her church shopping services when she saw a need for busy families who find it difficult to squeeze a religious life into their hectic schedules. “Most churches nowadays have sermons that last from ten minutes to an excruciating half hour,” Lucy explained. “My clients just don’t want to put themselves through that kind of ordeal when all they really want to know is whether the youth program has a Playstation 3. With my service, the clients just give me a checklist of all their felt needs and I do all the dirty work while they’re sleeping in on Sunday morning.”

One of Ditmer’s recent success stories comes from Judith and Bob Nickerson, a pair of sports enthusiasts who were looking for a church that provided for their physical needs as well as their spiritual ones. “Coming from a Methodist background, we were really surprised when Lucy recommended the Beth Israel Synagogue on Fifth Street,“ Judith said. “But we had to admit that it had the state-of-the-art exercise facility we were looking for. After a couple visits, we knew it was the place for us. In fact, we like it so much, Bob is getting circumcised next Thursday.”

As for the Henman family, they are anxious to see what Lucy finds for them. “Being without a church home these past few weeks has really taken a toll on our family,” Mrs. Henman admitted. “Just the other day Phil was dealing with a lot of stress at work and he needed a pastor to show him how Jesus dealt with project deadlines. If Lucy doesn’t hurry up and find us a church soon, we may be forced to open a Bible and look for the answer ourselves.”

by

Youth ministry: A “50-year failed experiment.”

Like placing a trampoline next to a spiked fence, sometimes you just have to admit when a bad idea is a bad idea (especially when it’s very harmful to children).

The Christian Post recently reported on a message from Scott T. Brown of the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches (NCFIC.org) in which he bravely went where few church leaders will go and criticized the sacred golden calf of youth ministry calling it “indisputably unbiblical.”

Brown gave this speech at the Sufficiency of Scripture Conference in Kentucky earlier this month which also featured Paul Washer, Voddie Baucham, Ken Ham, Doug Phillips, and others. Brown was optimistic though, hoping that “we are now at the end of this 50-year failed experiment.”

Ingrid Schlueter also weighed in on Brown’s lecture in this post when she said the following:

Youth groups that follow the fun and foolishness model of ministry have been an outstanding success—if by success you mean creating at least two generations of biblically illiterate, immature, and conscience-free consumers of American pop culture. As for training up disciplined, mature soldiers of Jesus Christ who possess a comprehensive knowledge of the Scriptures, most evangelical youth groups get an F.

Laodicean parents are concerned that their children will turn out badly. Turning out badly to Christians now means things like doing drugs, getting drunk or holding up the local QuickTrip. In terms of encouraging teens to avoid sex, drugs, booze and armed robbery, youth groups at evangelical churches probably get a few points. But when did avoiding procreation and police contact become the measure of success among Christian youth? Shouldn’t we be aiming a little higher than that? A working knowledge of sound Christian doctrine, knowledge of the Scriptures and the history of Christianity are now considered the arcane specialties of theologians, not tweens and teens.

The real issue is that evangelical parents are too busy servicing their debt providing iPhones and iPods and laptops for their offspring to worry about the biblical training of their children. Fathers are too involved watching the NFL on their large television screens to lead family worship. Mothers are too busy working out to achieve age-defying abs to teach children Scriptures when they rise up and when they lie down. That’s what youth group is for, they think. Except youth groups aren’t doing these things either. Youth pastors, even those well into middle-age, are bent on proving their coolness to the students in their care. They got krunk, see? They like dance-offs and air guitar competitions and having food items lobbed at their heads for entertainment purposes. Biblical training? Catechesis? Ha Ha Ha. Right.

Scott Brown is right. The neglect of biblical training of young people by their own fathers, in their own homes, is seen everywhere. Most frighteningly, we are seeing the increasing acceptance of things God clearly condemns in His Word. Kids today don’t know the Word. That’s why homosexuality is now seen as just another lifestyle option in a growing number of evangelical churches and colleges. Young people don’t know the Word because their fathers have failed them. Next, their “youth leaders” have failed them by perpetuating foolishness and buffoonery in the name of ministry.

Fathers, mothers, take back your roles as the primary disciplers of your children. Stop delegating the job to fools who are leading your children off a cliff spiritually. The times are dark and getting darker all the time, but the evangelicals party on, seemingly oblivious. The enemy is walking boldly into the church and subverting entire congregations with error of every description, not the least of which is an endemic spirit of frivolity and fun at the expense of teaching Biblical truth. But if evangelicals would look up from their revels, they would see the finger of God writing clearly on the walls of their churches.

“You have been tried in the balances and found wanting.”

_______________________________________________________________

See related:

– Peanut butter salvation and other stupid church tricks

– Whos’ pastoring the youth pastors?

– The problem with youth ministry today.

– A story of injured clowns and evil chickens.

– Another church sanctuary turned into a stage for a worldly dance exhibition.

by

Quotes (675)

voddie-baucham It is not the job of the youth pastor to evangelize my child—that’s my job. It is not the youth pastor’s job to equip (disciple) my child—it’s mine. And it is not the youth pastor’s job to send my child out to engage the world; you guessed it—that’s my job too.

– Voddie Baucham

by

A stark contrast between two worldviews.

In the news: The Duggar’s welcome child number 19 and a feminist who wants the planet to adopt China’s limited child policy (video).


by

Quotes (653)

voddie-baucham I believe one of the greatest crutches in the church is the nursery. Parents who have neglected to train their children have very little encouragement to do so when there is a place to hide them. The father who should be up in arms by the time he gets home from church because of the embarrassment to which his child subjected him ends up going home with a clear conscience while the nursery worker takes a handful of aspirin.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Not content with lowering the educational bar, one public school was selling grades.

Yet one more reason to support your local home school: a public school in North Carolina was actually selling grades. It reminds me of the Roman Catholic organization who sells indulgences; but I digress.

Here’s a quote from the news article:

“To my mind, it’s the integrity of the educational enterprise that’s at stake here,” said Daniel Wueste, director of the Rutland Institute for Ethics.

I’m sorry to report, Daniel, but you’re a little late. The integrity of government education was lost a long time ago.

by

Quotes (638)

voddie-baucham

When I would yell at my children, I was teaching them that they didn’t have to do what I said whenever I said it, just when it was important enough (or I was mad enough) to raise my voice. What’s worse, I was undermining my wife’s authority in the home because she wasn’t as big and scary and didn’t have as deep a voice as me. Thus my word (thundered through the house) became the standard for eliciting obedience. We do not want our children to do what we say with conditions attached. We want them to obey, period. Learning not to repeat ourselves, not to yell, not to call the offending child by all three of his or her names, but to speak in clear, level tones and follow through with consequences for every act of disobedience has completely transformed our home.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Quotes (627)

voddie-baucham Any mother who walks into the average American church with six or seven children will tell you, the pagan, secular humanist culture at large is not alone in its negative attitude toward children. Moreover, look at the divorce rates among Christians compared to those of non-Christians, and you will see that our attitudes about and commitment to marriage is anything but exemplary.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Working moms.

Working Moms The U.K.’s Daily Mail has posted an interesting article entitled So Should Working Mums Feel Guilty?

Although the mother interviewed wasn’t as penitent as I expected her to be, she did reveal the dirty little secret feminists won’t tell you: Mother’s who work away from home end up feeling like they missed out on the most important thing about motherhood . . . raising their children.

It may seem strange to some, but it is only recently that I have felt able to acknowledge that mixing work and children comes with its downsides. Why did it take me so long? Part of me doggedly believed I had to stick to my ‘line’ – that work gave me independence, adventure and, of course, money. But I have to admit that another part didn’t want to examine what the effect of more than 20 years of working motherhood had had on my children.

The mother goes on to say:

It’s obvious, perhaps, but what I give them now, which I rarely could before, is my attention.

And:

But maybe my 20-plus years of working motherhood is not such a great thing to crow about after all. I wouldn’t deny any other woman the chance to step into my working-day stilettos, but I would whisper: ‘Are you sure that it’s the right thing to do for everyone – children and husband included – and not just you?’

But just when you thought this story would have a redemption-type ending, it’s evident that the cycle will continue with her daughter when her daughter says:

My mother’s parenting was, in some ways, unorthodox. She instilled in me an appreciation of my own independence from an unusually young age. I was never asked whether I had done my homework each night and that is the way I liked it. . . . In fostering a sense of autonomy, she also showed great respect for my privacy. I am never asked irritating questions about boyfriends, a plight suffered only too frequently by many of my friends. I knew girls at school whose mothers had only them on whom to focus, pressuring them to achieve the best grades, get into the most prestigious universities and even to acquire the most appropriate boyfriends.

The daughter continues:

I respect a woman’s choice to take on the role of mother full time. It is, of course, one that comes with many challenges and infinite rewards. However, while I expect to take more time off work than my mother was able to when my children are small, I plan to have a career, too. My mother has started to question her life choices, but I defend them wholeheartedly. A trip to Egypt last year and various spa visits over the past few years have been testament to the fact that our relationship is a good one.

You can read the whole article here.

___________________________________________________________________

See also:

Voddie Baucham’s sermon Biblical Womanhood.

The Berean Wife’s article Feminism Has Made Women Unhappy.

Other articles from the Daily Mail feature on DefCon under the posts The Attack on Men and Fathers and Not Dying For the Sins of Her Father.





by

Quotes (601)

voddie-baucham Why are we here? Does our family exist to prepare children for the Major Leagues? If so, then baseball will be the center of our family’s universe, and everything else will bow to the whims and wishes of the baseball god. Does our family exist to produce socialites? If so, then our family must revolve around the social calendars of our overloaded teenagers and their hectic schedules. However, if our family exists to glorify and honor God and to lay a biblical foundation in the lives of our children, then we must not allow anything to interfere with our commitment to family worship, prayer, and Bible study.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Quotes (590)

Edward Payson In order to qualify yourselves for instructing and preparing your children for God’s service, you [must] diligently study His Word to ascertain what He requires of them and frequently pray for the assistance of His Spirit, both for them and yourselves. . . . You will carefully guard against saying or doing anything which may, either directly or indirectly, lead them to consider religion as an object of secondary importance. On the contrary, you will constantly labor to impress upon their minds a conviction that you consider religion as the great business of life, the favor of God as the only proper object of pursuit, and the enjoyment of Him hereafter as the only happiness, while everything else is comparatively of no consequence, however important it may be otherwise.

– Edward Payson

1783 – 1827

by

Sermon of the week: “Gaining the World and Losing Your Children” by Paul Washer.

image-4-14280 Your sermon of the week is Gaining the World and Losing Your Children by Paul Washer. It is yet another challenging message directed toward fathers in how they treat their wives and children. When you are done with this sermon I highly encourage you download his message Biblical Manhood Part 1 found on this post.

by

Quotes (576)

voddie-baucham Women who break the unwritten two-child-per-family rule are often greeted with questions like, “Haven’t you guys figured out what causes that?” Fathers who choose to emphasize their sons’ spiritual growth at the expense of their participation in the all-consuming pursuit of sports sometimes find themselves being alienated by other dads. Children who don’t attend the local public high school are often looked down upon because they don’t know the latest catch phrases or wear the latest designs. The pursuit of family driven faith can be costly.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Quotes (551)

voddie-baucham If you are in a church that has resisted the temptation to professionalize worship, you are blessed. If not, my heart goes out to you. In any event, family worship will deepen your appreciation for biblical worship and make the corporate experience that much richer. However, I must caution you—family worship also has a tendency to open your eyes to the shallow, mundane, worldly aspects of the modern “worship” scene.

– Voddie Baucham

by

Book Review: “The Basket of Flowers” by Christoph von Schmid.

the-basket-of-flowersWhat can I say about this book other than I absolutely loved it. This was the very first book published in the Lamplighter series and was the Lamplighter series “book of the year” in 1996. This continues to be my favorite Lamplighter book (see all Lamplighter books here) and is easily one of my favorite books of all time. I couldn’t put it down and now I can’t stop raving about it.

I was skeptical at first–reading a book first published in 1878 with the title The Basket of Flowers tends to lead one to believe it’s chick-lit (for lack of a better term). However, was I very, very surprised.

This is Christian literature at its finest. Each chapter imparts lifelong lessons and leaves you feeling like you just received a doctrinally sound sermon. The gripping story drives home the lesson to remain faithful and thankful to God even in the midst of great trials and especially when standing in the face of false accusation and persecution for crimes you didn’t commit. I cannot recommend this book enough for the Christian reader and even Dr. Tedd Tripp (who wrote Shepherding a Child’s Heart) wrote an endorsement for the book on page 4.

This book needs to be on the bookshelf in every Christian home and read by young and old, boy and girl, mother and father. You and your family will not be disappointed.

The publisher says:

This first book of the Lamplighter Rare Collector Series continues to be a best-seller. James, the king’s gardener, teaches his 15-year-old daughter Mary all the principles of godliness through his flowers. She is falsely accused of stealing, and the penalty is death. Mary remembers what her father had taught her: that it is better to die for the truth than to live for a lie, and that the worst pillow to sleep on is the pillow of a guilty conscience! This story will change your life forever!

Vision Forum says:

Within this simple, unassuming book is an inspirational story for young ladies not to be rivaled by any of the novels currently circulating in Christian bookstores. Set in Germany 100 years ago, The Basket of Flowers is the tale of a godly young woman and her father who wrongly suffer great persecution, but who learn to trust the sovereign hand of God through every difficult circumstance. My wife was so transfixed by this story that she read it in one sitting.

Other reviews:

“I am giving The Basket of Flowers to my grandchildren. I have no doubt they will devour it.” -Elisabeth Elliot

“I would like to express my thanks for printing The Basket of Flowers. It is a wonderful book with many virtues we need today in this world. The The Basket of Flowers has given me a new perspective of the Bible and at the same time making a better Christian out of me and my family. Thank you so much!” -Carissa

This is the touching story of a young girl and her father. Originally written by a french author, and later translated into english, this is a book that is sure to be passed down from generation to generation. I am 12 years old and my mother just recently purchased this book for me. I wish every girl could have a copy of this book!Also recommended: The Elsie Dinsmore Series, any books by Martha Finley, any books by Oliver Optic, C.H. Pearson, or Horatio Alger Jr. Please, if you want your daughter to read wholesome, enjoyable, thought-provoking, and character building books I suggest you purchase A Basket of Flowers immediately! (Reviewer unknown)

When I fist read this book I was only 9. Having been taught to read by my great grandfather, who embodied education. This was one of his favourite books. I found it very sad and at times depressing however, it teaches one that goodness always prevails even in the shadows of death. One learns courage and the depths of love that one can have for their family. This is a book that I will forever share with my great grandfather even though he has left this earth 13 years ago. I could still smell the old hard cover text with the neat engraving on a small basket of flowers. ( I had a very old version). It’s a book that I will always cherish. – Andrea Paul McPherson

I found this book on the library shelf. It caught my eye because it was small and old looking. (I like vintage things) The first chapter into this book I instantly knew it was going to be one of my few favorites!
This tale is about a father teaching his daughter about her Heavenly Father. I am seventeen and found this book as intriguing as my favorite classic Pride and Prejudice.
What this book has to offer is character building, and a learning passion for the Lord our Father in Heaven, who always hears our prayers and cares for us far beyond our understanding! – Alli

You can purchase this book at Family Faith Books by clicking here.